What to do when you feel lonely: 9 ways to cope
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Loneliness can impact your mental health in a real way. But support is out there. If you're not sure what to do when you feel lonely, try these 9 gentle tips.
The quiet of an empty apartment after work. A long evening with no plans. A phone that hasn’t buzzed in hours. Moments like these can bring a strong feeling of loneliness that are hard to ignore.
Research shows that loneliness can be as taxing on your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. And on top of that, we tend to feel loneliest during times of transition when life can already feel hard: moving, working from home, ending a relationship, or living alone. Even people with active social lives can feel lonely sometimes.
Luckily there are things you can do to support yourself when loneliness strikes. We share tools and tips to help you combat loneliness and shift towards a state of connection (even in solitude). Even simple things like staying off socials, sending an emoji to a friend, or spending time in shared spaces can be valuable. Let’s dive in!
What to do when you feel lonely: 9 ways to ease loneliness
Loneliness isn’t always something you can fix in an instant, but there are a bunch of small things you can do to shift your inner landscape and comfort yourself. Not every tip suggested below will fit every situation so think of them as tools you can explore, and based on what feels manageable or supportive for you right now.
1. Name the feeling of loneliness without judging it
Loneliness can quickly turn into self-criticism. Thoughts like, “I shouldn’t feel this way” or “Something must be wrong with me” can make the feeling even heavier. If you find yourself in that state, take a pause, and try a brief mindfulness check-in to help you tune into what’s present for you. Notice what you’re feeling physically and emotionally, and name those feelings without layering blame, judgement, or criticism on top of that.
Try saying:
“I’m feeling lonely, and that’s okay”
“Loneliness is a sign that I’m wanting more connection with others”
“I can take steps to fill my life with more social support”
💙 Get yourself back into the present moment with a Body Scan meditation on the Calm app.
2. Seek connection but in a low-lift way
When loneliness shows up, the advice to “just call someone” or “make plans” can sometimes feel overwhelming and intimidating. Smaller forms of connection often feel easier.
Even small interactions can help people feel more connected and less lonely. If reaching out feels difficult, start with one person who feels safe or familiar.
Try this:
Send a quick “thinking of you” text
Share a funny video or article
React to a friend’s story or post
Leave a short voice note
💙 Deepen your friendships with Calm’s Meaningful Practice for Meaningful Friendship series.
3. Spend time in shared spaces so you’re surrounded by others
Sometimes the easiest way to feel less alone is just to be around other people in a shared space. This doesn’t necessarily mean being among friends, but simply being among your community. If that makes you feel even more lonely (totally normal), even just listening to the radio or watching some tv can help.
Try this:
Work from a café instead of home
Read at a library
Walk through a busy park
Visit a local market or bookstore
Say hi to someone else walking down the street
4. Balance alone time with social activities
While making time for self-care is vitally important, having too much time alone can result in feeling lonely. Make sure you balance having some time to yourself with some structured time filled with social activities that you enjoy. Over time, these routines can help create a sense of community.
Try this:
Join a weekly yoga or meditation class
Schedule a regular coffee meetup with a friend
Volunteer once a month
Plan a video call with family
5. Make your alone time meaningful
Loneliness and solitude aren’t the same thing. You can be alone and not feel alone, especially when you’re doing something that’s meaningful to you. If you’ve got gaps in your social calendar, plunk in a few nights of relaxing self-care, or fun, meaningful solo activities.
Try this:
Cook a meal you enjoy
Listen to a podcast while walking
Journal about the day
Practice meditation or breathing exercises
Work on a creative hobby
6. Move your body
When your mood dips, or you’re feeling down, movement can really help you feel more present and energized. So the next time you’re feeling lonely, move in ways that feel supportive to you.
Spending time outside can also help. Fresh air, nature, and brief encounters with others can create small moments of connection.
Try this:
Take a short walk around the neighborhood
Stretch for a few minutes
Visit a local park or nature trail
Dance to your favorite music at home
7. Get clear on the type of connection you need
Not all loneliness feels the same and when you know the type of loneliness you’re experiencing, it can help you take action. Here are three of the most common types.
Emotional loneliness: missing a close, intimate relationship
Social loneliness: lacking a wider circle of friends or community
Situational loneliness: temporary disconnection during life changes
Try this:
For social loneliness it can help to reach out to friends or family, make social plans, or simply go out in your community. For emotional loneliness you may need to have an honest conversation with someone close to you and let them know you need support or care. For situational loneliness (like moving somewhere new) it can help to reach out to existing friends while also pursuing new connections in your new town or city. Picture: a Zoom date with an old coworker on Wednesday and taking a class in your new town on Friday.
8. Stay off socials
Sure, technology can help people stay connected, but passive scrolling through other people’s posts can sometimes increase feelings of comparison or loneliness. We often forget that social media is a highlight reel and doesn’t really give a full picture of what someone’s dealing with. So if the social comparison is making you feel down, frustrated, or left out, take a pause.
Try this:
Limit time on platforms that trigger negative feelings
Use messaging apps instead of passive browsing
Follow creators or communities that make you feel good, mute the rest
9. Consider support if loneliness feels persistent
Feeling lonely sometimes is part of being human. But if loneliness feels constant or overwhelming, extra support is there for you too.
A therapist or counselor can help explore patterns that may affect connection, such as social anxiety, past experiences in relationships, or major life changes. Remember that loneliness grows in isolation, but can be managed when you reach out for support.
What to do when you feel lonely FAQs
What are the main causes of loneliness?
Loneliness can happen for many reasons, and it often shows up during times of change. Moving to a new place, starting a remote job, ending a relationship, or losing someone you love can all affect your daily social life. When routines change, people may see friends or coworkers less often.
Loneliness can also grow when daily life becomes more isolated. Working from home, living alone, or spending a lot of time online can reduce everyday contact with others.
Is it normal to feel lonely even with friends?
Yes, it’s normal. Loneliness isn’t only about the number of people in your life, it’s also about how connected you feel to those people.
Someone can have hundreds of friends and still feel lonely if conversations stay at surface-level or if they don’t feel fully understood. Feeling seen, heard, and accepted often matters more than simply being around people as a strong emotional connection is what usually helps reduce loneliness.
How do I cope with loneliness if I don’t want to socialize?
You don’t have to force yourself into big social plans to ease loneliness. Taking smaller steps to reconnect can still help. You can spend time in places where other people are around, like a café, park, or library. Connecting with your community even in a passive way is still a form of connection.
Some people even enjoy online communities where they can talk about shared interests. If you’re open to exploring a new skill in a class or hobby group, that can help create connection. Sometimes it’s easier to talk with a new friend when you’re doing something with your hands or learning something new together.
If solo activities sound like a better option try the ones that encourage connection or self-reflection. Write in a journal, take a mindful walk, or practice a short meditation.
How can I stop feeling lonely when I’m single?
Being single can increase feelings of loneliness, especially in the evenings, on weekends, or during holidays. But finding enjoyable ways to connect to others can help ease the tension. Find shared activities you enjoy such as hobby groups, fitness classes, or volunteer work.
Friendships, family relationships, and community groups can also all create a sense of belonging. And sometimes, these connections can be just as meaningful and supportive as romantic relationships.
What are ways to manage loneliness at night?
Loneliness can feel more intense at night because the world grows quieter, especially for those who live alone. There are fewer distractions, and people may spend more time alone with their thoughts.
Creating a simple evening routine can make nights feel more comforting. Some people listen to podcasts or audiobooks while relaxing. Others write in a journal, read a book, or practice a short meditation before bed. Small habits like these can bring structure and calm during a time when loneliness often feels more noticeable.
Can mindfulness or meditation help with loneliness?
Mindfulness and meditation can help people respond to loneliness in a calmer way. These practices help you notice your thoughts and feelings without judging them.
Meditation won’t replace the need for human connection, but it can reduce the intensity of lonely feelings. Simple practices like slow breathing, body scan meditation, or loving-kindness meditation can help the body relax. Over time, these practices can make it easier to sit with difficult emotions and respond with more kindness toward yourself.
When should I worry about feeling lonely all the time?
Feeling lonely sometimes is a normal part of life. But if loneliness lasts for a long time or begins to affect sleep, mood, or daily life, it may help to talk with someone about it.
A therapist or counselor can help you explore what might be contributing to those feelings. They can also help you find ways to build connection that feel realistic and comfortable. Seeking support isn’t a sign of failure. It can be an important step toward feeling more connected and supported.
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