What is humility? Plus, 5 ways to cultivate it
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Humility isn’t about shrinking — it’s about staying grounded. Learn what it actually means, why it helps relationships thrive, and 5 ways to practice it in your daily life.
Imagine you’re mid-conversation with someone you care about, and they say something that gets under your skin. Right off the bat, you feel the urge to correct, defend, or make a point to them. But, instead, you pause. You take a breath. You try to hear where they’re coming from. That is humility in action.
Humility often gets a bad rap, as people tend to confuse it with being passive, quiet, or endlessly self-deprecating. But real humility isn’t about shrinking yourself — it’s about staying grounded in the moment. It’s knowing your strengths without inflating them, owning your limitations without shame, and showing up in relationships with openness instead of ego.
Let’s unpack what humility means, how it shows up in real life, and why it’s a powerful skill for deeper connection and emotional growth. Whether you’re trying to be a better partner, communicator, or friend, humility can shift how you relate to yourself and others in ways that leave a lasting impression.
What is humility?
Humility isn’t about making yourself smaller or acting like you’re not good enough. It’s about being honest with yourself and with others. It means knowing what you’re good at, where you struggle, and not needing to prove your worth all the time. Experts say humility is a mix of being self-aware and caring about what other people think and feel (within reason).
A humble person doesn’t try to be the smartest one in the room or look for attention. They’re more focused on understanding others than being right. They’re confident but humble about it — not because they’re unsure of themselves, but because they don’t need to show off.
Studies also show that humility is tied to positive traits like empathy, kindness, emotional management and solid communication. People who practice humility often deal with conflict more calmly and build stronger relationships.
5 examples of humility
Humility isn’t a personality trait that only shows up during deep, reflective moments — it’s woven into everyday choices and interactions. Most of the time, it’s subtle. You probably already practice it in ways you don’t even realize.
Here are five real-life examples of what humility can look like:
1. Owning a mistake without spiraling: You forgot to follow up on something important at work or snapped at your partner during a rough moment. Instead of making excuses or pretending it didn’t happen, you name it, take responsibility, and ask how to make it right.
2. Making space in conversation: You’re in a group setting where the louder voices are leading. You notice someone hasn’t spoken much, so you invite them into the conversation by asking something like, “What do you think?” Humility here isn’t about staying silent yourself, but it’s about recognizing when someone else deserves the mic.
3. Giving credit where it’s due: You worked hard on a project, but so did your team. When the praise comes in, you share it by highlighting others’ contributions without needing to be the hero.
4. Staying curious in disagreement: Someone challenges your opinion, and instead of shutting down or arguing harder, you say something like, “That’s interesting — I hadn’t thought of it that way.” You still hold your view, but you make room for theirs, too.
5. Feeling proud without making it all about you: You accomplished something meaningful, and you feel good about it. Instead of soaking in the spotlight or using it to prove your worth, you acknowledge what helped you get there: mentorship, timing, support, or effort.
Why is humility important?
Humility isn’t just a trait that’s nice to have, it plays a major role in how we grow, and hold ourselves together in tough moments.
Emotionally: Humility helps you stay balanced emotionally. You’re less likely to get stuck in cycles of shame when you mess up or, when things go well, have an inflated ego. This kind of grounded self-awareness can make you more resilient when life doesn’t go your way.
Socially: Humility is a relationship builder. When you’re humble, people feel safer around you. You’re open to feedback and more likely to repair when harm is done. It’s easier to trust someone who isn’t always trying to win, impress, or dominate others all of the time.
Mentally: Humility keeps the door open for curiosity. Instead of clinging to being right or always needing to know, you stay open-minded. That’s a huge asset when you’re trying to grow — whether in therapy, learning a new skill, or navigating complex parts of your identity or relationships.
How to cultivate humility: 5 ways to stay grounded
Humility isn’t something people are born with or not, it's a practice you build over time. It’s less about personality and more about how you move through the world, especially in moments of ego, tension, or discomfort. Here are five ways to cultivate humility in your daily life.
1. Pause before reacting, especially when you feel defensive
That quick jolt you feel when someone offers criticism or disagrees with you is often your ego trying to protect itself. Humility begins with recognizing that discomfort and choosing not to act on it right away. Instead of jumping in to defend or explain yourself, try taking a breath and asking, “What’s this really about? Am I trying protect how I look right now?”
If your partner says, “You weren’t really present earlier,” your knee-jerk response might be to say, “I was tired. What do you want from me?” But if you pause, you might respond differently by saying, “You’re right. I got distracted. Tell me what I missed.”
Related read: Respond vs react: 5 tips to slow down (and why it’s important)
2. Ask more than you tell
In conversations, especially emotionally charged ones, the most humble thing you can do is get curious. Instead of jumping in with your opinion or trying to relate everything back to yourself, practice asking open-ended questions that invite someone else’s experience. And focus on listening.
It might sound like, “How did that feel for you?” or “What do you think would help right now?” When a friend vents about work, your instinct might be to say, “Here’s what I did in that situation,” but a humble response would be, “That sounds rough. What’s been the hardest part of dealing with that?”
💙 Show that you’re Listening with tips from Tamara Levitt’s Relationship with Others Series found on the Calm app.
3. Practice naming your limits and asking for help
One of the more vulnerable and powerful ways to practice humility is by admitting when you don’t know something or can’t do it all yourself. There’s strength in saying, “I need support,” or “I’m stuck — can you help me think through this?”
If you’re overwhelmed at work, for instance, instead of staying silent and drowning in deadlines, you might say to your manager, “I’m having a hard time prioritizing my tasks. Can we talk through what’s most urgent?”
💙 Learn how to Help Others Help You with guidance from Jay Shetty’s meditation on the Calm app.
4. Share credit and name your influences
Humility shines when you succeed and not by downplaying your accomplishments, but by recognizing that you didn’t get there alone. Make it a habit to name who or what helped you. This might mean highlighting a mentor, calling out your team, or simply noticing the circumstances that made your progress possible.
So when someone congratulates you on hitting a big goal, instead of saying, “Thanks, I worked really hard,” you might add, “I appreciate that. Honestly, I had a lot of support, and it made all the difference.”
Related read: How mentally healthy workplaces start with mindful leaders
5. Get comfortable not having the last word
Humility means you don’t feel the need to “win” conversations. In tense discussions or arguments, there’s often a strong urge to clarify or defend… But sometimes the most grounded response is simply to say, “That’s fair,” or “I see it differently, but I get where you’re coming from,” and leave it there.
Walking away without proving your point can feel uncomfortable at first, but it builds trust and signals that the relationship matters more than being right.
What is humility FAQs
What are the benefits of having humility?
Humility has real benefits for both you and your relationships. People who practice it often feel more emotionally balanced, open to feedback, and less defensive. They tend to bounce back more easily from challenges because their self-worth isn’t tied to always being right.
In relationships, humility helps reduce conflict and make space for honest, supportive conversations. Others feel safer and more respected when they’re around someone who leads with humility instead of ego.
What is the psychology behind humility?
Being humble is a mix of self-awareness and caring about others. It’s not just about being modest — it’s about seeing your strengths and weaknesses clearly, while also staying open to feedback and views.
Research shows that humility is linked to traits like empathy, and gratitude. It also connects to emotional intelligence, like being able to manage your reactions and respond calmly in social situations. In short, humility helps you think more clearly, work better with others, and handle challenges in healthier ways.
What are some common myths about humility?
A common myth about humility is that being humble means putting yourself down or acting like you’re not good at anything. But real humility means knowing both your strengths and your limits — without overdoing either one.
Some people also think humble people can’t speak up or lead, but that’s not true. Humility means leading with self-awareness instead of ego. And while some think you’re either born humble or not, research shows it’s a skill you can build over time.
How does a person show humility?
Humility often shows up in small moments, like admitting a mistake without making excuses, asking for help, or really listening instead of jumping in.
People who are humble notice how they affect others and take responsibility for what they do. They’re also more likely to give credit to others, ask for feedback, and stay open during hard conversations.
What are some examples of humility?
Examples of humility include saying a real apology when you’ve hurt someone, letting someone else take the lead when they know more, or sharing credit with your team instead of taking it all for yourself.
It can also mean listening to someone’s opinion even if you disagree, or saying “I don’t know” without feeling embarrassed.
Can humility help with emotional intelligence?
Yes, humility helps build important parts of emotional intelligence, like self-awareness and managing relationships. When you’re humble, you’re more likely to notice your feelings, stay calm, and listen to others. You’re also more open to learning and accepting feedback. These skills make it easier to connect with people and handle challenges in a thoughtful way.
Why is humility hard to practice sometimes?
Humility can feel hard, especially in places where people are expected to always be confident, in control, or performing at their best. Saying “I don’t know,” asking for help, or changing your mind can make you feel vulnerable.
Our culture often pushes people to promote themselves and compete, which can make humility seem weak, even though it’s not. In times of stress or fear, it’s easy to let ego take over. But with practice, humility gets easier. You can learn to stay calm, open, and grounded — even when it feels uncomfortable.
Can humility strengthen relationships?
Yes, humility can make relationships stronger. It helps build trust and a sense of safety. People who show humility are easier to talk to, especially during conflict, because they listen, take responsibility, and try to understand the other person’s side. In close relationships, humility makes it easier to admit when you’re wrong, fix mistakes, and keep growing together instead of getting stuck in arguments.
Is humility a skill you can build?
Yes, humility is a skill you can build over time. Like any habit, it gets easier the more you practice it — especially in everyday situations. You can grow humility by pausing before you react, asking questions, really listening, and thinking about how your actions affect others.
Writing things down, talking to a therapist, or getting honest feedback from people you trust can also help. Some people may find it comes more naturally, but anyone can learn and strengthen humility with practice.
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