Sleep training: how to know if it's right for you and your baby
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Wondering if sleep training’s right for your baby (and you)? Learn what sleep training really means, the different types, and how to decide what works for your family.
There are a few parenting topics that really get people fired up, and sleep training is at the top of the list. Ask a group of parents what they think of sleep training, and you’ll get a wide range of very passionate responses.
Some swear it’s the best thing they ever did, both for themselves and for their baby. Others are convinced it’s unnecessary, and that a baby will sleep through the night when they’re ready. Meanwhile, many people are somewhere in the middle: exhausted, confused, and desperate for rest.
The truth is, like all things, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach, and what works for one family won’t necessarily work for the next.
To help you make the best choice for you and your baby, it’s important to understand what sleep training is and why people choose to do it (or not do it). Here’s everything you need to know.
What is sleep training?
Basically, sleep training is teaching your baby how to fall asleep and stay asleep on their own.
Of course, all babies eventually sleep through the night, but for some, it’s a longer, tougher process. This is where sleep training comes in. When someone sleep trains their baby, they’re trying to give them tools to self-soothe so that everyone can get longer, more restful sleep.
What sleep training isn’t
Sleep training gets a bad rap in some circles, in part because it’s misunderstood. Here’s what it’s not:
Sleep training isn’t about abandoning your baby. Some methods involve letting babies “cry it out,” but that doesn’t mean you’re leaving your child in distress for hours on end. Even with cry-based methods, parents are encouraged to respond in ways that feel right for them.
It doesn’t mean your baby will magically sleep 12 hours. Some babies adapt quickly, while others take more time. And even if you “successfully” sleep train, sleep regressions, teething, and colds can still shake things up.
It’s not something every parent wants or has to do. Some families thrive without structured sleep training. Others find it helps a lot. The point is, there’s no universal right way — just what works for you.
Is sleep training effective?
We still have a lot to learn about sleep training, but here’s what we do know: Studies suggest that it may lead to better sleep quality for both babies and their parents, but its effects may fade over time. Essentially, some babies may need reinforcement or retraining as they grow.
How quickly a baby responds to sleep training also varies. Some babies take to it quickly, others protest, and some just won’t respond to it at all, no matter how many expert-backed methods you try.
But will a baby be scarred for life if you do give it a go? Experts don’t necessarily think so. Research suggests that sleep training—when done in a responsive, consistent way—doesn’t cause long-term emotional harm.
Read more: Baby sleep guide: How much sleep does your baby really need?
How to know if sleep training is right for your baby
When you’re exhausted, you might try anything to get more than three consecutive hours of sleep. But before you commit to sleep training, it helps to figure out if it’s actually the right fit for your family.
Signs that sleep training might be a good option for you (and your baby)
Your baby is at least 4 months old and gaining weight well: If your baby is still waking from genuine hunger, sleep training might be frustrating for both of you. Not sure if night feeds are still necessary? Check in with your pediatrician.
You’re beyond exhausted: If sleep deprivation is turning you into a zombie version of yourself, sleep training might be a game-changer. While sleepless nights are part of early parenthood, they don’t have to be forever.
Your baby struggles with independent sleep: Some babies have an easy time going to sleep on their own, while others wake the second you put them down. If your baby relies on rocking, nursing, or holding to stay asleep, sleep training might be able to help.
You’re ready to be consistent: Babies thrive on routine, so switching methods too often can make things harder for everyone.
You feel comfortable with the method you choose: The best sleep training approach is one you feel good about. If even a few minutes of crying makes you break out in a cold sweat, a no-cry method may be a better fit.
Signs that sleep training might not be the right fit (at least not right now)
Your baby isn’t developmentally ready: Before four months, babies’ sleep cycles are still maturing, so sleep training might not make sense yet.
Your baby has an underlying issue: If your baby is waking up due to reflux, teething, hunger, or another medical issue is at play, sleep training might not work well.
Your baby still needs night feeds: If your infant is younger than six months and waking genuinely hungry at night, sleep training might go badly.
Your baby is going through a regression, illness, or big change: Sleep training during transition periods can be frustrating. If possible, wait until things settle before you start. This will help you stay consistent, too.
You’re not emotionally ready for it: If the thought of sleep training makes you anxious or if you can’t handle any crying, it’s okay to skip it. Sleep training should feel like a choice, not an obligation.
You don’t mind the current sleep situation: If whatever you’re currently doing works for your family, there’s no rule saying you must sleep train. Babies will eventually learn to sleep on their own.
Remember that sleep training is optional, and it only works if it aligns with your baby’s needs and your family’s comfort level. If it feels right, go for it. If not, your baby will figure out sleep in their own time.
When to start sleep training
Babies don’t follow a universal timeline, and there’s no perfect time to start sleep training. The best time depends on their development, sleep habits, and, of course, what’s best for your family.
Before 4 months: Newborn sleep is chaotic — frequent feeds, short sleep cycles, and no self-soothing skills yet. At this stage, focus on gentle sleep habits like consistent routines, rather than expecting independent sleep.
4 to 6 months: Research suggests sleep training before six months doesn’t always lead to long-term improvements. Instead, you may want to try adjusting wake windows, creating a bedtime routine, or using gentle approaches before structured sleep training. Also, if you’re breastfeeding, keep in mind that cutting night feeds may impact your milk supply.
6 to 12 months: Babies at this stage are more responsive to routines, so sleep training is often more effective. Just make it work for you. If your baby still needs a night feed, you might want to take a more gradual approach to help balance better sleep with continued nursing.
12+ months: If your toddler is still waking up frequently, sleep training can still work, but ingrained habits may create some issues along the way.
Read more: How to deal with new parent sleep deprivation: 10 tips to cope
5 types of sleep training methods
So, you’ve decided sleep training might be for you — but how do you actually do it?
The good news is, there are several approaches, and not all of them involve crying. The tricky part is figuring out which method works for your baby and your comfort level. Some babies respond quickly to a structured approach, while others need to take it more slowly.
Of course, check in with your doctor if you have any questions about sleep training or what’s best for your baby.
In the meantime, here’s a breakdown of the most common sleep training methods.
1. Cry it out (CIO) / extinction method
In the traditional CIO method, you put your baby down awake, say goodnight, and leave without returning to check in, no matter how much they cry. The idea is that babies will eventually learn to self-soothe and fall asleep on their own.
This might work for:
Parents who are comfortable with crying
Babies who get more upset when parents check in
Families who need a fast, structured approach
Keep in mind:
You may experience a rough couple of nights, though sleep often improves within three to five nights.
The process can be emotionally difficult.
Some psychiatrists have expressed concerns about a baby experiencing prolonged distress.
Breastfeeding parents may need to modify this approach to keep up a milk supply.
CIO is one of the most controversial sleep training methods. While some studies suggest it doesn’t cause long-term harm, it’s not universally recommended. Instead, many pediatric sleep experts favor gentler approaches that involve gradual adjustments rather than leaving a baby to cry alone.
2. The Ferber method (check-and-console)
Also called graduated extinction, this method involves putting your (six-month-old-plus) baby down awake and allowing them to cry for set intervals before offering a brief check-in. The intervals gradually increase over time. You may start with three minutes, then five minutes, then 10 minutes, until they eventually fall asleep on their own. Unlike full CIO, you do check on your baby, but without picking them up or staying too long.
This might work for:
Parents who can tolerate some crying but want to provide comfort
Babies who get reassurance from brief check-ins
Families looking for a structured but moderate approach
Keep in mind:
There will probably be crying (but usually less than full CIO).
You may see results within a few nights to a week.
It is widely accepted in the U.S and recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), though some experts take issue with it.
You may want to modify this method if you’re breastfeeding and need a night feed to maintain your supply.
Remember, the check-ins are not for soothing, just quick reassurance. If you pick up, rock, or reset your baby every time, you might be making things tougher for everyone.
3. Chair method
You sit next to the crib while your baby falls asleep, offering verbal reassurance but not picking them up. Every few nights, you move the chair further away until, eventually, you’re out of the room completely.
This might work for:
Parents who want to be present but can avoid picking up or rocking their baby
Babies who respond well to having a parent nearby
Families who can handle a slow, gradual process
Keep in mind:
This method may take longer (1–2 weeks or more).
There might be some crying (but it’s usually less intense than CIO).
This can be a real test of patience. Sitting in that chair at 2am can be difficult.
You can adjust this approach to keep some night feeds, making it a good option for breastfeeding parents who aren't ready to wean overnight.
Some babies get even more frustrated when they see you but can’t get picked up. If this happens, a different method might be better.
4. Pick up/put down (PUPD)
You pick up your baby when they cry, soothe them, and then put them back down before they fall asleep. Repeat this as many times as needed until they fall asleep on their own.
This might work for:
Parents who don’t mind physically intervening but want to phase it out
Babies who need extra comfort but can tolerate small changes
Keep in mind:
This can require a lot of picking up and putting down.
There might be a longer adjustment period. (It may take weeks.)
There is often less intense crying than CIO methods.
This can be a good option for breastfeeding parents who want better sleep without full night weaning.
This method requires serious patience, as some babies get even more worked up with constant picking up and putting down.
5. No tears / fading methods
You gradually change your baby’s sleep habits with minimal crying. This can include:
Gentle fading: You’ll reduce how much you intervene each night. (One night you might rock them for 10 minutes, then five, then none.)
Substituting sleep associations: Instead of nursing your baby to sleep, you’d opt for patting them gently or humming.
Slow withdrawal: Similar to the Chair Method, you just move further away from the crib each night.
This might work for:
Parents who cannot handle crying
Babies who are highly sensitive to big changes
Families who are okay with slow progress
Keep in mind:
While there might be some resistance, expect less crying.
It can take weeks or even months to see big results.
Because these focus on gradually changing sleep habits, they can be ideal for breastfeeding families who want to encourage independent sleep while still allowing for comfort feeds as needed.
This method is great for babies who need a gentle approach, but it takes a lot of patience. Progress is often slow, and some parents give up before seeing real change.
Read more: 7 signs your newborn is overtired (and how to help them)
How to start sleep training: 8 tips to make it (a little) easier
For the most part, sleep training is a process, not an overnight miracle. The first few nights might be rough, but with patience and consistency, your baby can learn to sleep independently. Here’s how to make it easier:
1. Set realistic expectations: No method works right away. Some babies adjust within a few nights, but others take weeks. Also, regressions, teething, and life happen, so stay flexible and patient.
2. Make sure the baby's basic needs are covered: A hungry or overtired baby won’t sleep well, no matter what method you try. Give them a full feed before bed (especially for breastfeeding babies under 6–9 months), keep their sleep space dark and quiet, and make sure they’re comfortable.
3. Be consistent (even when it’s hard): Switching methods too soon can confuse your baby. Stick with your plan for at least three to five nights before making changes.
4. Expect some protesting (but know the difference): Babies cry when they’re frustrated, but also when they need something. If your gut says they’re hungry, check on them, especially for breastfeeding babies under 6 months. If they’re just fussing and pausing, they may be self-soothing.
5. Create a simple bedtime routine: A calming, consistent routine (like bath, pajamas, feeding, book, then crib) helps signal that sleep is coming.
💙 Calming music like Nighttime Wind Down can help you and your baby feel more relaxed as you get ready for bed.
6. Have a plan for night wakings: Decide ahead of time: Will you check in? How do you feel about offering feeds? How long will you wait before responding? Having a plan prevents those half-asleep, What do I do now? moments.
💙 Having trouble falling back asleep in the middle of the night? Try Sleepy Rhythm Meditation from Kate Johnson.
7. Don’t be afraid to pivot: If your baby gets more and more upset each night, adjust your approach. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to any aspect of parenting. Every child is unique, and while you might have had success with one method before, a new baby might benefit from a different approach.
8. Be kind to yourself: Sleep training is hard, and second-guessing yourself is normal. If you change your mind or need to take a break, that’s okay. You’re doing an amazing job.
Sleep training FAQs
At what age do you sleep train a baby?
Many babies are ready for sleep training between four and six months, but research suggests that before six months, sleep training may not make a major difference.
If you’re breastfeeding, keep in mind that night feeds are still biologically normal at this stage, and suddenly cutting them could impact your milk supply. If you want to improve sleep without full night weaning, you might consider a sleep training approach that allows for one or two feeds.
What is the 5–3–3 rule for sleep training?
The 5–3–3 rule is a way to handle night wakings while sleep training. When your baby cries, wait five minutes before checking in, then three minutes if they wake again, and another three minutes if needed. This gradual approach encourages self-soothing while still allowing you to offer reassurance.
It’s a variation of the Ferber Method and works well for babies who respond to check-ins without getting more upset. If your baby escalates with this approach, adjusting the timing or trying a gentler method may help.
What is the 2/3/4 rule for baby sleep?
The 2/3/4 rule helps structure awake windows for babies around 6 months and older: two hours of awake time before the first nap, three hours before the second nap, and four hours before bedtime. This helps prevent overtiredness while ensuring your baby is tired enough to fall asleep.
While this works well for many babies, every child is different, so you may want to adjust wake windows based on your baby’s cues.
Will sleep training help my baby sleep through the night?
For many babies, sleep training can lead to longer, more consistent sleep, as you’re teaching them to self-soothe. With that said, sleep training isn’t a magic fix, and some babies will still wake occasionally due to hunger, teething, or sleep regressions. If sleep training doesn’t seem to be working, consider whether overtiredness, their bedtime, or an underlying issue (like reflux or discomfort) might be at play.
Also, if you’re breastfeeding, remember that night feeds play a role in helping you maintain your milk supply, especially in the early months. Some sleep training methods allow for keeping one or two feedings, but others require full night weaning. If your baby still seems hungry at night, a hybrid approach—like gradually spacing out feeds instead of cutting them out altogther—can help you balance sleep training and your breastfeeding needs.
And in the meantime, here are five tips every parent needs to get better rest.
Does sleep training mean I have to let my baby cry?
While some methods (like Cry It Out) may involve a fair amount of crying, there are other options like the Chair Method, Pick Up/Put Down, or Fading that don’t. Babies don’t always welcome change, so some crying is to be expected, but you can choose a method that aligns with your comfort level.
The best sleep training approach is one that feels right for you and supports your baby’s needs.
Does sleep training mean I have to wean from night feeds?
Sleep training and night weaning aren’t the same thing. Some sleep training methods, especially gentler approaches, allow for keeping one or two night feeds. If you’re breastfeeding a younger baby, suddenly eliminating all night feeds too early can sometimes impact your milk supply.
If your baby still seems hungry at night, a middle-ground approach—like gradually stretching out the time between feeds—can help you balance sleep training while keeping breastfeeding on track.
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