84 questions to ask your gynecologist at every life stage

Women's HealthPhysical Wellbeing

Aug 20

Written By Calm Editorial Team

Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA

From first visits to menopause and everything in between, here are 84 questions to ask your gynecologist that can help you get the clarity and care you deserve.

Going to the gynecologist can be deeply personal, and at times, deeply uncomfortable. If you’re an adult woman, you’ve been there, awkwardly sitting in that paper gown, wondering if everything is normal, or if any tests or procedures will hurt.

It’s normal to arrive at a doctor's appointment feeling vulnerable, and oftentimes, there’s a fear of not being seen or heard. Despite that, these visits with your healthcare provider are important opportunities to advocate for your health. And when you know the right questions to ask, you can leave that room feeling informed, supported, and empowered.

To help you feel prepared for each appointment, we’ve put together a list of questions that you can ask your gynecologist at each stage of life. From your first visit to menopause and beyond, these questions can be a starting point for helpful conversations. It’s your body, and no question should ever feel too silly to ask.

What you should discuss with your gynecologist at any age

Your gynecologist should be more than someone who simply runs tests and fills out forms. In a perfect world, they’re a consistent, trustworthy presence you can rely on to help you make sense of your health, even when it’s hard or confusing.

But the ideal dynamic isn’t created overnight, and it can help to understand how their office works, what to expect from your care, and how to advocate for yourself when needed.

Here are some clarifying questions you might want to start your appointment with, especially for first-time visits:

What can I expect during this appointment?
Can I take a few minutes to ask questions before any procedures begin?
Can you explain your approach to consent during exams or procedures?
If something makes me uncomfortable during a visit, what can I do or say?
Can I ask for a pause during the exam if I start to feel overwhelmed?
Is it okay to bring a support person into the exam room?
How do you accommodate patients with a history of trauma or anxiety?
How will you manage any pain I feel?
How do you help patients who have anxiety or fear around pelvic exams?
What’s the best way to share sensitive topics if I get overwhelmed or anxious?
How do you handle communication outside of appointments if I have questions or concerns?
How often should I be coming in for checkups or screenings?

Important symptoms to talk to your OB-GYN-gyn about, no matter your age

There are certain topics that deserve attention, no matter your age, stage, or how minor they might feel (to you or anybody else). These are the issues or symptoms your OB-GYN needs to know to support your health in the best way.

Be sure to keep your provider updated on any of the following symptoms:

Irregular or painful periods, especially if they’ve changed recently or are impacting daily life
Unusual discharge, odor, or itching, as these could signal infections that need treatment
Pain during sex or pelvic exams
Changes in libido or sexual function, which can be connected to hormones, medications, or other health issues
Lumps, bumps, or changes in your breasts or genitals, even if they’re painless or seem small
Spotting between periods or after sex
New or worsening PMS, mood swings, or sleep problems
Any history of reproductive conditions in your family, such as endometriosis, fibroids, or ovarian cancer
Painful bloating, ongoing fatigue, or unexplained weight changes

12 questions to ask your OB-GYN in your teens and early 20s

This stage is full of firsts, and for many, that includes the first gynecologist visit. It’s normal to feel nervous or unsure about what to ask. But this is the ideal moment to build a foundation for your reproductive health, and early gynecological care is about learning what’s normal for you.

Ask questions without apology, even (and often especially) if you think they’re silly. Your curiosity is your power, and your OB-GYN is there to help you get to know your body, understand your options, and feel in control of your care.

Here are some questions that can open up helpful, honest conversations:

Are the symptoms I’m experiencing with my period normal?
What should I know about safe sex and STI prevention?
How do I know if I’m ready for a pelvic exam or Pap smear?
What should I expect during my first check-up or screening for STIs?
What are my birth control options, and how do I know what’s right for me?
What should I know about the HPV vaccine and cervical cancer prevention?
What should I do if I feel pain or pressure during sex or physical activity?
Is it normal to feel anxious about sex, or not be interested in it at all?
Can we talk about body image or my eating habits?
How are my hormones affecting my skin, mood, and weight?
What should I do if I suspect I have a yeast infection or UTI?
How often should I be coming in for check-ups or screenings?

💙 If you’re feeling anxious in the waiting room, try to Find the Breathing Room.

12 questions to ask your OB-GYN in your late 20s to 30s

By your late 20s and into your 30s, your relationship with your body might start feeling a little complex. Maybe you’re navigating long-term birth control, your period has changed, or your stress is affecting your skin, mood, or weight. Maybe you’re considering kids, or maybe you’re not, but want to understand your options either way.

This stage in reproductive care is often about refining what you already know and exploring what might be next. It’s also a good time to zoom out and make sure you’re still aligned with your care.

Here are some questions you might consider bringing into the room:

Is it normal if my period has changed?
Can we run tests to check my egg reserves?
Are there early signs of reproductive conditions I should look out for?
How do I know if I’m ovulating regularly?
Should I get a fertility assessment?
If I feel pain during sex, what might that mean?
How can I take care of my pelvic floor?
I feel more tired, bloated, or anxious lately. Could this be hormonal?
What role does stress play in my cycle or reproductive health?
What screenings should I be getting consistently?
Can you walk me through any new types of birth control I could consider?
How do I know if I should see a specialist, like a reproductive endocrinologist or pelvic floor therapist?

12 questions to ask your OB-GYN if you’re trying to conceive

Trying to conceive can bring a whole storm of emotions, from hope and pressure to excitement and frustration. And it also comes with a lot of uncertainty, which is when you need your OB-GYN to step in.

Your gynecologist can help bring clarity and offer support, so that you feel comfortable as you walk down this path. It’s also worth noting that the journey to conception is different for everyone, and your questions are allowed to change along the way.

Whether you’re just starting to think about pregnancy or have been trying for a while, these questions can guide a more informed, compassionate conversation:

Do I need a preconception check-up or testing?
How can I track my ovulation and fertility effectively?
How does my menstrual cycle look in terms of fertility health?
When should I stop using birth control, and how long will it take to get pregnant after stopping?
Are there any lifestyle changes I should consider?
Which supplements (if any) should I be taking?
Is there anything in my health history that might impact conception or pregnancy?
How does my age factor into fertility?
When should we consider fertility treatments?
What should my partner consider testing or changing?
What kinds of emotional support or resources do you recommend during this process?
How can I protect my mental health while trying to conceive?

If you’re trying to conceive (TTC), it can be helpful to check in with your insurance plan and find out what kind of coverage you get for fertility testing and treatment. If your insurance doesn’t cover visits with a reproductive endocrinologist, your OB-GYN can only do so much for you. It can be valuable to find out where your current coverage would end and where a fertility clinic might need to step in.

12 questions to ask your OB-GYN when you’re pregnant and after birth

Pregnancy is often portrayed as a glowing, magical time, but it also comes with a lot of unknowns. As does postpartum, where physical recovery, hormone recalibration, and lack of sleep all layer on top of one another.

You deserve to feel especially supported by your care team during this time, and should feel free to ask them whatever’s on your mind.

Here are some practical questions to bring to your prenatal and postpartum appointments:

What prenatal tests or screenings should I expect and when?
How do I know if what I’m feeling is normal or a red flag?
How do I create a birth plan, and how flexible does it need to be?
What should I know about the stages of labor, pain management, and interventions?
What support can I get for my mental health during pregnancy?
What are my options if I don’t want to breastfeed or can’t?
How can I advocate for myself if I don’t feel well after delivery?
What should I know about postpartum physical recovery, especially if I had a C-section or tearing?
How do I know if I have postpartum depression or anxiety?
When should I expect my cycle to return, and how does birth control fit in once it does?
What should my partner know about how to support me during this time?
How can I prepare emotionally for the transition to parenthood?

💙 Calm yourself down with this guided Breathwork for Postpartum Anxiety with Kate Johnson.

12 questions to ask your OB-GYN in your 40s

Your 40s can be a bit of a hormonal plot twist. Maybe your period’s gone rogue, your moods are less predictable, or you’re suddenly Googling, “Is this perimenopause or just burnout?” It can be a wild ride, and everyone’s different.

You could be managing birth control, considering pregnancy, or starting to feel a slow shift toward menopause. Also, most women in the U.S. will have their first mammogram at the age of 40. As women age, the risk for certain health conditions can rise, so this is a time to stay curious, ask questions, and update your care as your body evolves.

In the midst of all these changes, here are some questions worth asking your OB-GYN:

What should I do if I notice changes in my period?
Could I be in perimenopause, and what does that mean?
Do I still need to use birth control?
What bloodwork or hormone tests might be helpful right now?
What are my options for managing perimenopause symptoms?
Am I due for a mammogram?
Should I be doing more regular screenings for cancer or other conditions?
How can I best support my bone and heart health?
What should I do if sex feels different or painful?
What is the connection between gut health and hormones, and how can I best support my gut?
What’s the difference between anxiety and hormonal shifts?
How can I best support my mental health during perimenopause?

12 questions to ask your OB-GYN in your 50s and beyond

By your 50s, you’ve likely seen your body change in a myriad of ways. Your period might be waning or may have stopped entirely, and you could be relieved or grieving the loss of your fertile years. You may be experiencing hot flashes, brain fog, or sleep disruptions, and wondering if these symptoms will persist.

This is a powerful stage, but it’s often not mentioned enough in conversations around reproductive health. Your OB-GYN is still a crucial partner, helping you navigate life post-menopause with care, clarity, and respect.

Here are some essential questions to bring into the room:

Have I officially reached menopause? What does that mean for my health?
Why am I still having symptoms after menopause?
What are my options for managing menopause symptoms?
Is vaginal estrogen safe for me, and how does it work?
How does menopause impact my sexual health?
What’s the connection between menopause and memory issues?
Do I still need Pap smears and pelvic exams?
What should I know about heart health in this stage of life?
What changes are normal with bladder control, and when should I be concerned?
How do I support my bone health and prevent osteoporosis? How often should I be checked?
What kind of movement or exercise can help support hormonal and bone health at this stage?
Are there any warning signs I shouldn’t ignore post-menopause?

💙 Learn the perks of aging (despite how worrying it might feel) with Growing Older with Jay Shetty.

Questions to ask your gynecologist FAQs

Can I ask my gynecologist about mental health or stress?

Yes, absolutely. Your gynecologist may not be a licensed therapist, but they are a key part of your healthcare team.

Mental health and reproductive health can also be deeply connected: Hormonal changes can impact mood, anxiety, sleep, and even panic symptoms. If you’re feeling emotionally off, overwhelmed, or like your stress is affecting your physical health, it’s absolutely worth telling your gynecologist.

Your provider may be able to screen for symptoms of PMDD, postpartum depression, or perimenopausal mood shifts, and refer you to therapists or psychiatrists who specialize in reproductive mental health. But first, it requires you to have that conversation.

What if I don’t feel comfortable bringing up sex or body image?

First of all, that’s perfectly common. These topics can be sensitive and often tied to shame, trauma, or dismissal of them in the past.

If you still feel like discussing these topics can benefit you, it can help to write your concerns down ahead of time and either read them aloud or hand them to your doctor at the start of the appointment. A supportive provider won’t pressure you to talk about more than you’re ready to share. Instead, they’ll work to create space for you to speak up when you feel like you need to.

If you consistently feel dismissed, judged, or brushed off, know that you’re well within your rights to look for a new provider who makes you feel safe.

Are there questions I should ask my OB-GYN on my first visit?

First visits can be nerve-wracking, especially if you’re not sure what to expect. Start by asking, “What will this appointment involve?” and “Do I need to prepare for anything?”

You can also ask how the office handles follow-up questions, what the plan is for screenings or exams, and how your provider approaches sensitive topics like consent or sexual health. If anything feels confusing or rushed, it’s more than okay to ask for clarification. This is your time to get informed and supported.

What questions should I ask my OB-GYN during menopause?

Menopause is a transition that can span years, and it can also affect everything from sleep and memory to intimacy. To feel the most prepared, ask your OB-GYN about your symptoms, which treatments might help, and whether hormone therapy is appropriate for you.

You might also want to ask how menopause affects your long-term health, with regard to issues like bone density, heart health, or metabolism. After all, even if your period has stopped, your care should continue.

How should I prepare for my OB-GYN appointment?

A little preparation can go a long way. Try jotting down your symptoms, questions, or concerns ahead of time, especially if you tend to feel anxious or forget things in the moment. If you track your period, you could also bring that information with you.

If you’ll be having any procedures like an IUD insertion, a LEEP, or other uterine scans like an HSG or SIS, consider asking your doctor about pain management in advance.

In the past, many of these procedures were done without medication, but the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) now recommends proper pain management to avoid trauma during in-office procedures.

Advocate for yourself when needed. A simple phrase like, “I’d like to avoid a traumatic experience by receiving proper pain management,” can go a long way to get you taken care of.

If you need support, consider having a trusted friend or family member accompany you.

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women's health

Calm Editorial Team