Is psychological flexibility the key to better mental health?
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Have you heard of psychological flexibility? It's one of the foundations of good mental health. Explore what it is, plus 6 tips to improve your mental flexibility.
In a world filled with constant changes, how we adapt to life’s challenges is one of the most important things we can do for our mental wellbeing. Many of us struggle with rigid thinking patterns or feel stuck in negative emotions, which can lead to stress, anxiety, or even depression. But the good news is that there’s a growing body of research suggesting that developing psychological flexibility can play a key role in overcoming these mental health struggles.
Psychological flexibility is a way of honing our ability to adapt to situations, accept emotions, and still make decisions based on our values — even when life gets tough. Unlike rigid thinking, which leaves us feeling trapped, being flexible in our thoughts and feelings helps us navigate life more smoothly.
What is psychological flexibility?
When we talk about being able to roll with the punches when life gets tough, we’re talking about psychological flexibility. It’s all about staying open to whatever emotions or thoughts come your way—whether they’re pleasant or not—and still making choices that align with your goals and values.
Instead of trying to block out difficult feelings or rigidly stick to one way of thinking, when practicing psychological flexibility, you’re able to adapt and adjust as things change.
Being psychologically flexible helps you avoid getting stuck in the same unhelpful patterns. When you’re feeling anxious or stressed, instead of shutting down or avoiding situations, you can acknowledge that discomfort but still take meaningful action. It’s the ability to accept these emotions as part of being human and make choices based on what’s important to you, rather than what’s most comfortable in the moment.
Psychological flexibility is a key part of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), a type of therapy designed to help people stop struggling with their emotions and start living more fully. The idea is that trying to control or avoid uncomfortable thoughts and feelings only makes them worse. But if you can learn to accept these experiences without letting them take over, you’ll find it easier to move forward.
Through practicing psychological flexibility, you can become better at managing stress, handling uncertainty, and bouncing back from setbacks. It can help you live a more meaningful life, because instead of letting fear or discomfort hold you back, you’re able to pursue what truly matters to you. And while psychological flexibility might sound like a big concept, it’s something we can all learn and improve with time and practice.
5 examples of psychological flexibility
Psychological flexibility can show up for you in many different ways in daily life. Here are a few of the most common.
Adapting to new situations: Big changes—whether at work, at home, or in your social life—can be a lot to deal with, especially if they’re sudden or unexpected. Instead of resisting the change, psychological flexibility helps you accept the change, adjust your expectations, and take proactive steps to succeed in the new environment.
Managing anxiety: If you’re someone who often feels anxious in social situations, psychological flexibility encourages you to sit with the discomfort, rather than avoiding events altogether. This openness to the emotion allows you to continue pursuing social connections, even if the anxiety is still there.
Handling criticism: When someone gives you feedback that feels harsh, instead of reacting defensively, psychological flexibility allows you to listen without judgment and reflect on whether the feedback aligns with your values and goals. You might still feel hurt, but you’re able to process the emotion without it affecting your self-worth.
Facing fear: If you’ve been afraid to try something new, like starting a new hobby or going back to school, psychological flexibility lets you acknowledge that fear while still taking small steps forward. It’s not about ignoring the fear, but learning to move alongside it.
Navigating relationship conflicts: In any close relationship—whether it’s with a partner, friend, or family member—disagreements are bound to happen. It’s easy to get caught up in being “right” or insisting that the other person see things your way. Psychological flexibility, however, allows you to approach the conflict from a different angle. You can take a step back, acknowledge your own emotions, like frustration or hurt, and also consider the other person’s perspective.
How psychological flexibility can improve mental health
Research shows that psychological flexibility is closely linked to better mental health. It allows us to handle life’s difficult moments with a bit more grace and ease. Here’s a few ways that being psychologically flexible can help you navigate your day to day.
Reduced stress and anxiety: When you’re psychologically flexible, you don’t waste energy trying to avoid negative feelings. Instead, you accept them and find ways to move forward. This reduces stress and may help prevent anxiety from becoming overwhelming.
Better emotional regulation: Psychological flexibility helps you manage your emotions more effectively. Instead of being controlled by frustration, anger, or sadness, you can acknowledge these emotions without letting them dictate your behavior.
Increased resilience: Life is unpredictable, and everyone faces setbacks. Psychological flexibility boosts resilience by allowing you to bounce back from challenges more quickly. You’re more likely to see difficulties as temporary and remain focused on your goals.
Improved relationships: Being flexible in your thinking makes it easier to communicate with others, even when disagreements arise. You’re better at understanding different perspectives and finding solutions that work for everyone.
Enhanced mental wellbeing: Over time, being psychologically flexible leads to a greater sense of peace and fulfillment. You’re able to live in line with your values, regardless of external pressures or internal struggles.
6 tips to be psychologically flexible
Developing psychological flexibility is a skill that anyone can learn and improve. Over time you can train your mind to be more open, accepting, and adaptable when facing difficult thoughts or emotions. Some days will be easier than others, and that’s perfectly okay. The key is to keep practicing, stay open to your emotions, and continue making choices that align with what matters most to you
1. Practice mindfulness to avoid acting on impulse
Mindfulness is one of the best tools for building psychological flexibility. When you practice mindfulness, you become more aware of your feelings and thoughts as they come and go, but you don’t get swept away by them. If you’re feeling stressed, mindfulness helps you notice the stress without reacting to it immediately. This creates space between you and the emotion, allowing you to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
Try simple mindfulness exercises (here are 10 of our favorites), like focusing on your breath for a few minutes each day, or bringing your full attention to everyday tasks like eating or walking.
💙 Take one minute to Pause to Breathe with Professor Megan Reitz, which can help you be more mindful and centered.
2. Challenge rigid thinking to gain perspective
Rigid thinking is when you get stuck in black-and-white or all-or-nothing thoughts, such as, “I must do this perfectly, or I’ve failed,” or, “If this goes wrong, everything is ruined.” This kind of thinking limits your ability to adapt to new situations or handle challenges effectively.
To become more psychologically flexible, start noticing when you’re thinking in extremes. Ask yourself questions like, “Is this thought really true?” or, “Is there another way to see this situation?” By challenging these rigid thought patterns, you open up space for more flexible, balanced thinking. Over time, you’ll find that you’re less likely to get stuck in one way of viewing things and more able to see the other possibilities.
3. Accept your emotions to keep moving forward
One of the key aspects of psychological flexibility is learning to accept your emotions, even when they’re uncomfortable. This doesn’t mean you have to like them or want them to stick around, but it does mean you stop fighting against them. Trying to avoid or push away difficult emotions often makes them stronger.
Practice acknowledging your feelings without judgment. If you’re feeling anxious, sad, or angry, try telling yourself, “It’s okay that I feel this way right now.”
By accepting your emotions, you reduce their power over you. You don’t have to let them dictate your actions or take over your day. Instead, you can move forward with your values and goals, even with those emotions present.
💙 Try Enhancing Self-Acceptance with Tamara Levitt and use gratitude to support your acceptance journey.
4. Clarify your values to be ready for complex situations
Knowing what’s important to you can make it much easier to practice psychological flexibility. When you’re clear on your values—whether it’s family, relationships, health, honesty, or personal growth—you have a guide for making decisions, even in tough situations or when emotions are running high. Explore these seven core values for strong relationships.
Take some time to think about what matters most to you in life. When challenges come up, ask yourself, “What’s important to me at this moment?” If you’re feeling frustrated at work but your value is personal growth, you might choose to stay focused and try to learn from the experience, rather than letting your frustration lead you to quit impulsively.
5. Set small, achievable goals to build confidence
Psychological flexibility can feel overwhelming at first, especially if you’re dealing with a lot of stress or emotional challenges. It can be helpful to start with small, achievable goals that only push you slightly outside your comfort zone.
This could mean trying something new that makes you a little anxious or taking a small step toward a larger goal. If you’re nervous about public speaking, you could start by speaking up more in small meetings or practicing in front of a friend.
Each small step helps build your confidence and flexibility. Over time, these small wins add up and show you that you can handle discomfort and still move forward.
💙 Discover what’s on the other side of fear by Taking the Exquisite Risk with Tara Brach to build confidence as you tackle your goals.
6. Engage in self-compassion
We all make mistakes or face setbacks, and it’s easy to get caught up in self-criticism. But instead of beating yourself up, try practicing self-compassion. This means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a friend. Try these five exercises on self-compassion to get started.
If something goes wrong, remind yourself that everyone struggles, and it’s okay to not be perfect. If you’re having a hard day and feeling down, instead of criticizing yourself for feeling that way, try saying, “It’s okay to feel like this. I’m doing the best I can.”
By being gentle with yourself, you create more space for psychological flexibility, because you’re not adding extra pressure or judgment to already difficult situations.
Psychological flexibility FAQs
What is the difference between psychological flexibility and mental toughness?
Psychological flexibility is about being adaptable and accepting emotions, while mental toughness focuses on enduring hardships with determination. Mental toughness often emphasizes pushing through discomfort, whereas psychological flexibility encourages you to acknowledge your feelings and still make choices that support your wellbeing.
Can psychological flexibility be developed at any age?
Yes, psychological flexibility can be developed at any age. It’s a skill that can be learned and strengthened through mindfulness, acceptance, and practice. Whether you’re a child, teenager, or adult, you can work on becoming more flexible in your thoughts and actions.
How does ACT therapy support the development of psychological flexibility?
Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) helps people develop psychological flexibility by teaching them to accept their thoughts and feelings, focus on the present moment, and take actions aligned with their values. Through exercises and mindfulness techniques, ACT encourages openness to experiences and emphasizes living a meaningful life despite challenges.
What are the six pillars of psychological flexibility?
There are six core processes in psychological flexibility.
Acceptance: Embracing your thoughts and feelings without trying to change them
Cognitive defusion: Separating yourself from your thoughts, so they don’t control your actions
Being present: Staying mindful of the current moment
Self-as-context: Recognizing that you’re more than your thoughts or emotions
Values: Knowing what matters most to you
Committed action: Taking steps toward your goals, even in the face of difficulty
How does psychological flexibility benefit relationships?
Psychological flexibility improves relationships by promoting better communication and empathy. When you’re open to your own feelings and also those of others, you can navigate conflicts more calmly, listen without judgment, and work together to find solutions. This creates stronger, more supportive connections.
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