JOMO: How to practice the joy of missing out for a happier life
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
FOMO is fear of missing out, but have you heard of the joy of missing out (JOMO)? Learn how choosing JOMO can benefit you, plus 8 tips for how to embrace it.
Picture this: You’re sitting on the couch at home, happily relaxing, when you decide to open Instagram. Suddenly, you’re bombarded with pictures of a co-worker getting engaged at the top of Machu Picchu, a high school friend posing front row at the Eras Tour, and your bestie clinking cocktails with your other bestie at happy hour.
In an instant, your relaxing evening on the couch turns sour, and you’re filled with a feeling you’ve felt before. And loathe. Thoughts of, “What am I doing? I need to be there with my friends, and at the Eras tour, and at the top of Machu Picchu,” may swirl through your mind while the feeling grows louder and louder.
This sensation is called FOMO, or the “fear of missing out.” It’s the feeling that life is happening elsewhere while we’re stuck at home (even if we chose to be home), wasting our life away and missing out on, well, everything.
But, maybe there’s another way to look at things. What if, instead of feeling left out, we felt good about missing out on things? Not the things that really matter to us, like a friend's birthday or that once-in-a-lifetime trip, but the things that don’t really matter to us, like being at a happy hour when we’d rather be snuggled on the couch with our dog, or even being front row at the concert of the century.
This feeling is called JOMO, or the “joy of missing out.” The JOMO mindset focuses on taking pleasure in not doing it all or trying to keep up with everyone. Instead, it focuses on relaxing and appreciating the moment we are in — in finding joy in our own choices rather than feeling pressure to do something just because others are.
Let’s explore the joy of missing out and how this mindset can help you feel better about how you choose to spend your time.
What is the joy of missing out (JOMO)?
JOMO is about finding peace and contentment by embracing life as it is. It’s about choosing to focus on what you genuinely like to do and your personal needs over constantly trying to keep up with everyone around you.
If all your friends are going out dancing and want you to come but you’d rather stay in, do laundry, and rewatch Gilmore Girls for the hundredth time, then that’s great! You’re creating space to enjoy your choices and live in the moment. Not only can this help revitalize you, but it might even come as a relief, because you’re not trying to do what others think you should do but just doing what you want to do and finding joy in that instead.
Obviously, this isn’t always easy, especially when you see your loved ones doing something fun without you. You’re going to feel FOMO from time to time, and that’s normal.
But by slowing down and reconnecting with what actually matters to you, over time, this feeling of JOMO can gradually become easier and easier to feel.
7 benefits of practicing JOMO
Constantly feeling pressure to be in the know or up-to-date on the latest and greatest restaurants, nightlife, and gossip can be exhausting. There’s only so much time in the day, after all! And while it might make you more popular at work to know the latest thing the celebrity of the week wore to grab coffee, this can really add to your already full plate, not to mention take up valuable headspace. Letting go of this pressure can be relieving, and it can even bring you peace and joy.
Here are seven benefits of practicing JOMO that could bring you more contentment in your life.
1. Reduced stress and anxiety: FOMO can make you feel pressure to keep up with everyone else, which is exhausting. JOMO removes that need and gives you permission to rest without guilt.
2. Better mental focus: When you stop worrying about missing out, your mind has more space for things that matter, like reading that article you’ve bookmarked days ago or even working on a passion project.
3. Improved mental health and self-esteem: Constant comparison often leads to feeling inadequate, and FOMO may make that even worse. JOMO can be an antidote helping you build a strong sense of self-worth and joy in your own choices, which leads to improved mental wellbeing.
4. Increased personal satisfaction and contentment: Choosing JOMO helps you focus on what truly fulfills you, leading to greater life satisfaction. You’ll spend your time on things you find valuable and that restore you, rather than dwell on what you think you’re missing out on.
5. Better relationships with friends and family: With practicing JOMO, you have time to invest in the relationships that matter most. By not attending that standing Friday night dinner with friends when you’re running on empty and resting instead, you can then invite those friends over when you have more time and energy to give to others. This shows you’re actively choosing quality time with loved ones and investing in meaningful connections.
6. More time for self-discovery and personal growth: By not overdoing it and relaxing, JOMO can allow you to focus on your own growth and goals, as well as give you time to explore your interests and passions.
7. Greater appreciation for the present moment: JOMO encourages you to not be constantly looking for what’s next or what else is out there. Instead, embrace the present and find joy in the small moments, like a quiet morning coffee on your porch or a long walk with your dog.
How to embrace JOMO: 8 tips to be happy with what you have
When you’re used to going a million miles a minute and saying yes to everything, slowing down and hopping off that social train can be scary and hard. But if you embrace JOMO slowly with small and manageable steps, it can make the transition a little less bumpy.
Here are some practical tips to help you welcome JOMO into your life and gradually find happiness in what you already have.
1. Set clear priorities for your life
The first step to JOMO is figuring out what truly matters to you. Think about what activities, people, and goals bring you genuine joy and fulfillment. When you know what’s most important, it’s easier to say no to things that don’t matter to you.
This doesn’t mean setting up an autoreply of no to every incoming text or invitation you receive asking you to hang out. It simply means being intentional with your time and only saying yes to things that are meaningful to you.
2. Limit social media time to avoid triggers
Social media is one of the biggest triggers of FOMO. It constantly shows us everyone’s highlight reel and makes us feel like our life is boring and uneventful. By limiting your time on social media, it can help you focus more on your own life and pay less attention to what cool trip your high school classmate is on.
Try setting small attainable limits, like only checking social media once or twice a day for 10–15 minutes. If you’re feeling up for it, maybe also consider taking short breaks from social media altogether to help reset your mindset (here are 12 tips to help you do a social detox).
3. Practice mindfulness to reconnect with yourself
Simple mindfulness exercises, like deep breathing, meditation, or even just taking a few moments to notice your surroundings, can help you reconnect with what’s happening here and now. When you’re present, it’s easier to let go of the need to be somewhere else, which is a foundational part of JOMO.
💙 Slow down and notice the goodness around you by practicing this Breathe Into Relaxation session with Jay Shetty.
4. Create time for solo activities
Try setting aside time each week for solo activities that make you happy, like reading, journaling, cooking, or re-organizing your closet, even if it’s for the zillionth time.
These activities can be calming and fulfilling, giving you the chance to reconnect with yourself. The more you enjoy your own company, the easier it is to embrace missing out on things that don’t genuinely matter to you.
5. Practice saying “no” with confidence
It can be tough to say no confidently at first. But remind yourself that you are protecting your time and energy. Start small by politely declining invitations or commitments that don’t interest you or feel like an obligation. As you say no, remind yourself that you’re actually saying yes to self-care and to resting. If you need some backup, check out these 30 ways to say no nicely.
6. Spend time in nature
Nature has a way of slowing us down and making us appreciate simple beauty like a bird chirping or a flower blooming. Spending time outdoors, even if it’s just a short walk during your lunch hour, can boost your mood and help you feel more connected to yourself.
7. Focus on gratitude
When you’re grateful for the present, you’re less likely to feel like you’re missing out. Try keeping a gratitude journal and jotting down a few things you’re thankful for each day.
This doesn’t have to be complicated — it could be as simple as “I’m grateful I had a healthy meal at breakfast” or “I’m grateful I remembered to floss today.” If you want more ideas to bring gratitude into your days, start with these 10 practices.
💙 Start a daily gratitude practice with help from our free Daily Gratitude Journal.
8. Set boundaries around your time
Set boundaries around when and how you spend your time, especially if you’re feeling pressured by the outside world. Maybe create specific “no technology” or “no work” zones in your schedule, where you focus entirely on yourself, your family, or activities you love without distractions. This might help prevent burnout, as these boundaries ensure you have enough time for rest and self-care.
💙 Follow along with Tamara Levitt as she guides you through a meditation on setting Boundaries, which can help you say no to what doesn’t align with your interests.
JOMO FAQs
How can I balance JOMO with staying connected to friends and family?
Deciding to pursue JOMO doesn’t mean you have to suddenly live the life of a hermit and no longer see the people you love. It’s not an either/or situation. It’s about being intentional with your time and energy, so that when you’re connecting with the people you love, it’s meaningful and not out of obligation. Identify the relationships that are important to you—family, close friends, supportive colleagues—and focus on nurturing these connections.
Some good ways to create meaningful moments with these loved ones are:
Setting your phone aside during meals
Planning activities that encourage quality time, like grabbing coffee and chatting over going to the movies where you won’t have time to properly catch up
Scheduling regular catch-ups so you can plan for them and arrive with the energy these moments deserve
Letting your friends and family know before you’re next hang that you’re prioritizing JOMO so they’re aware as to why you’ve been less available lately
Is JOMO only about avoiding social media?
While limiting social media can help make you focus less on other people’s lives, that doesn’t mean you need to swear it off.
JOMO is more about shifting your mindset. Putting down your phone more can get you to focus more on looking inward and asking yourself what you actually want to do. It’s about learning to be content with the choices you’re making, whether that involves social media or not. Feeling content in the present, focusing on personal hobbies, and limiting external expectations all can help lead to experiencing the joy of missing out.
What are some signs that I might benefit from JOMO?
If you’re constantly feeling that pit in your stomach of FOMO, maybe it’s time to check in with yourself and ask if you could benefit from looking for more JOMO in your life. Here are some signs to look out for:
Frequently feeling anxious or stressed from trying to keep up with others
Constantly checking social media to see what others are doing
Continually struggling to relax or feeling guilty when you’re not busy
How can I practice the joy of missing out?
Some fun ways to practice JOMO is to do activities that bring you stillness, joy, or peace, like reading, gardening, or meditating. Start with small, intentional steps and ask yourself questions like “Does this feel right for me? or “Will this add value to my life?” By doing this, you start to build a life that feels more meaningful and less cluttered with obligations.
Remind yourself, saying no is empowering and that it also gets easier over time.
How does JOMO impact relationships and social interactions?
JOMO can improve relationships by allowing you to prioritize quality over quantity in your social life. You might have fewer hang outs on your calendar, but these plans will now be filled with less exhausting interactions where you’re not giving the best version of yourself and more meaningful interactions because you actually have more energy to give.
Also by embracing JOMO, you might even inspire others to do the same, which can lead to more quality relationships with people who share your values.
What is the difference between FOMO vs. JOMO?
You’ve probably heard of FOMO (fear of missing out) but maybe you hadn’t heard of JOMO until today. Let’s break down the differences between these two ways of looking at the experiences we are (or aren’t) having.
FOMO (Fear of Missing Out): We all know the fear of missing out. FOMO is that anxious feeling you get when you think others are having the time of their lives without you and you’re missing out. It’s not uncommon for this to lead to stress, envy, or even insecurity about your own life.
JOMO (Joy of Missing Out): JOMO, on the other hand, is all about choosing what brings you joy and letting go of the need to be everywhere, all the time. It’s about feeling satisfied with your decisions and focusing on what makes you happy, even if that means not joining in on every opportunity that comes your way.
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