How inner child work could boost your mental health
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Inner child work might seem a little out there, but it may actually have some benefits for your mental wellbeing. Explore 6 tips to get connected with younger you.
Have you ever had a big reaction to something that didn’t seem to bother anyone else? Like if your partner doesn’t answer their phone on the first ring, and suddenly you’re hit with a wave of rage, your mind spiraling with thoughts that they don’t love you?
This type of emotional trigger might be rooted in unresolved issues from your past, often dating all the way back to your childhood. In this particular case, a heightened emotional reaction when a phone call goes unanswered might be connected to early attachment issues or feelings of abandonment.
The truth is that most of us carry emotional baggage from childhood — experiences we may have long forgotten or pushed aside. But even if we’re not consciously aware of them, these early memories and feelings can still affect how we navigate life as adults. They can influence our romantic relationships, friendship dynamics, and even how we show up in the workplace.
By getting in touch with your inner child, you can begin to heal old wounds, rediscover a sense of playfulness, and build a healthier relationship with yourself. But please keep in mind that when working with your inner child, heavy emotions or unresolved trauma may arise, so it’s always recommended to work with a licensed therapist if you need extra support. Let’s dive in.
What is inner child work?
Inner child work is the process of reconnecting with the younger version of yourself in order to process and heal unresolved issues. Some believe that this “child” still exists inside you and holds onto all the experiences you had in the past — both the positive (like feeling loved, safe, and happy) and the negative (such as feeling scared, abandoned, or unloved).
The theory is that if we don’t process these emotions, they can show up in unexpected ways in adulthood — maybe through extreme emotional reactions, negative self-talk, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. If you find yourself struggling to cope with real life, these 14 strategies and skills can help.
With inner child work, you’re making space for that younger version of yourself to express their needs and feelings. It can be a slow and sometimes challenging process where you acknowledge any pain, unmet needs, or unresolved emotions from your childhood and give yourself the compassion you needed back then.
Why you might want to consider inner child work
Whether or not you realize it, the experiences you had as a child can shape how you see yourself, how you handle emotions, and how you interact with others. So working to uncover and heal these experiences may have a lasting, positive impact on your mental and emotional health.
Say you were often criticized or not given enough attention as a child. You might have grown up feeling insecure or unworthy. As an adult, you might notice you’re overly self-critical or afraid to take risks, fearing rejection. Through inner child work, you can start to understand where these feelings come from, and begin to release them by offering your inner child the love, reassurance, and validation they never received.
This can bring more emotional balance, self-acceptance, and self-awareness into your life. And through this, you can break free from negative patterns and create healthier relationships with those around you.
Here are all of the potential benefits of doing inner child work.
Heal emotional wounds: Trauma, neglect, or emotional pain you experienced as a child can be processed instead of pushed aside or ignored. This can help you give yourself the permission you need to feel, understand, and heal.
Improve emotional regulation: By connecting the dots between your past and present, you can understand why you may still have strong emotional reactions to certain situations, and learn to respond in healthier ways (here are nine tips to help).
Boost self-esteem: If you were criticized or not given enough love and attention during childhood, you can start to challenge the outdated negative beliefs about yourself. By doing this, you’re building a stronger sense of self-worth and confidence.
Break negative patterns: Inner child work can help you break free from patterns of unhealthy relationships or behaviors that don’t serve you and limit you.
Rediscover joy and playfulness: Embracing your inner child can help you feel more free and alive in your daily life, reconnecting with the playful, creative, parts of yourself that exist but may have got lost along the way.
5 questions to ask your inner child
Having a conversation with your inner child can help you explore parts of your past that may still be influencing your present. These parts often include unprocessed emotions, unmet needs, or forgotten joys.
When asking these questions, take your time. Find a quiet space where you can make space to “speak” to your inner child, and really listen to what they have to say. The intention of these conversations is to build a sense of trust and connection with this younger version of yourself, treating them with the kindness and care they might not have received in the past.
You may try free-writing to let the words flow out of you or just let your mind wander to whatever images or memories come up with each question. The answers may not come all at once, and that’s okay. Inner child work is a process, so approach it with patience and gentleness.
1. What made you feel happy and safe when you were little?
Reflect on moments when you felt loved and secure as a child. This can help you understand what you need to feel safe and content today. It can also remind you of simple joys that might bring comfort into your adult life and motivate you to find ways to incorporate more of these practices into your day-to-day.
2. What were you afraid of or worried about as a child?
Childhood fears can often carry over into adulthood, even if they show up in different ways. Understanding what scared or worried you back then can help you identify the root causes of your current fears or anxieties. This can help you face them with more clarity and compassion.
3. Is there something you didn’t receive as a child that you needed?
Whether it’s love, attention, validation, or safety, recognize what was missing so you can give yourself that care now. This gives you a new chance to heal from feelings of neglect or rejection. For instance, if you didn’t receive physical touch when you were younger, you can experiment with giving yourself a butterfly hug. Simply cross your arms over your chest so your hands are on your collarbones and your fingertips point toward your shoulders and alternate tapping each hand while taking deep breaths.
If you didn’t get words of affirmation from your caregivers, you can try using positive self-talk at the beginning of your day (these positive affirmations can help).
4. What did you love to do when you were younger but stopped doing as you grew older?
Many of us lose touch with the activities that made us feel joyful and free as children. Reconnect with those things—whether it’s drawing, playing outside, or even daydreaming—to help you bring more creativity and playfulness back into your life.
5. How do you feel about yourself today? What could make you feel more loved and cared for?
Invite your inner child to express their feelings in the present. If your inner child feels unworthy, neglected, or unloved, reflect on how you can offer more self-compassion, care, and kindness to yourself now.
How to connect with your inner child: 6 tips to get started
Starting inner child work might feel a little awkward or uncomfortable at first, but with time, it can become a nourishing part of your self-care routine. Whether you’re looking to heal from past trauma or simply want to tap into a more playful, creative side of yourself, these simple tips can help you begin.
The more you engage with your inner child, the easier it can become to recognize and heal emotional wounds, and find greater self-awareness, compassion, and emotional wellbeing. Keep in mind that inner child work can bring up heavy, unresolved traumas, so we recommend working with a therapist if you find yourself needing more support.
1. Visualize a safe space for reflection
Create a deeper connection with your inner child through visualizations where you meet and comfort your younger self. Start by picturing a safe, peaceful place in your mind — maybe your favorite beach, a nearby forest you grew up in, a cozy room from childhood, or any space that brings you comfort. Think about the sights, sounds, and scents of this place to make it feel more real in your mind. Then, imagine the younger version of yourself walking toward you.
This mental space can give your inner child the comfort they need to open up, so you can connect with them on a deeper emotional level. You may choose to ask some of the questions above, or just spend time being with them.
💙 Hesitant? Tune into Jeff Warren’s experience with his own Inner Child Project.
2. Revisit childhood memories
Think about both the positive and the negative moments from your childhood experiences. What were your happiest memories? What were the moments that made you feel hurt or scared? Pinpointing these can help you begin to understand how they’ve shaped your emotional responses and behavior as an adult.
Approach these reflections with kindness — acknowledge any pain that comes up, but also celebrate the joyful moments.
💙 And if any of these memories provoke strong emotions in you, this Self-Soothing meditation with Tamara Levitt can help.
3. Write a letter to your inner child
Speak directly to your inner child, acknowledging any pain or struggles they experienced. Offer them the comfort and understanding they might have needed back then.
Tell them how much you appreciate their strength and resilience. Let them know they’re loved and supported. This can help bridge the gap between your past and present self, allowing you to heal emotionally.
4. Do what you loved as a child
Draw, ride a bike, dance, or watch cartoons. Bring out the playful, carefree side of yourself and remind your inner child that they still have a place in your life.
This can help you tap into a sense of joy and creativity that you might have forgotten. It can be as simple as blasting your favorite playlist and shaking your hips at the start of each day.
💙 Experiment with what it feels like to just Move for Fun during this Daily Move session with Mel Mah.
5. Practice self-compassion
As you begin to work with your inner child, it’s normal for difficult emotions to come up. You might feel sadness, anger, or even frustration.
When this happens, be gentle with yourself. Remind yourself that these feelings are valid and that it’s okay to feel vulnerable. Try to speak to yourself the way you would comfort a scared or upset child — with kindness, patience, and reassurance. This can help you heal emotional wounds in a safe and supportive way. These 5 self-compassion exercises can help you practice.
💙 Give yourself grace and replace Self-Criticism with Self-Compassion during this session with Dr. Julie.
6. Speak to your inner child regularly
Just like any relationship, the connection with your inner child can take time and attention to strengthen. Check in with your inner child regularly, especially during times of stress or emotional turmoil.
Ask them how they’re feeling, what they need, and offer them reassurance. This can help you build a stronger bond that encourages healing, self-love, and emotional growth.
Inner child work FAQs
How often should I practice inner child work?
There’s no set rule for how often to practice inner child work, it depends on your emotional needs. Some people check in weekly, while others may engage during stressful times.
Start small with journaling or meditation, and do these more often as you feel more comfortable. The process should be gentle, so go at your own pace and take time to listen to your emotions. If it feels overwhelming, just take a break.
Can inner child work help with anxiety and depression?
Inner child work can help with anxiety and depression, especially when these feelings stem from unresolved emotional wounds from childhood.
Unprocessed experiences like trauma or neglect can lead to feelings of unworthiness and anxiety in adulthood. Addressing and nurturing these deep-rooted feelings can help you start to heal and reduce the intensity of your mental health challenges.
Inner child work is often combined with other self-care practices (here are 20+ to try out) and professional support.
What are the signs that I have a wounded inner child?
Signs of a wounded inner child may show up as challenging emotional or behavioral patterns.
Heightened sensitivity to criticism
Strong emotional reactions to triggers
Difficulty trusting others
Feelings of inadequacy
Self-sabotaging behaviors
What are the 5 inner child wounds?
There are five common types of inner child wounds that many people experience, and each represents a different kind of emotional pain that might have developed in childhood. These can continue to affect you in adulthood, influencing your emotional responses and behavior.
Abandonment: Often stems from feeling emotionally or physically neglected if your caregivers weren’t there for you in the way you needed. This can create a fear of being left alone or unimportant.
Rejection: The pain of feeling unwanted or unloved, which can happen if your needs were dismissed or you were made to feel like a burden.
Betrayal: Being let down by someone you trusted can cause feelings of mistrust and difficulty forming close, secure relationships.
Injustice: If you were treated unfairly or harshly, you may feel a deep sense of frustration or anger about not being valued or understood.
Humiliation: Having been made to feel ashamed, embarrassed, or ridiculed. This can often bring long-term feelings of unworthiness or low self-esteem.
Inner child work can give you a chance to revisit these wounds, offer your inner child the love and support they missed out on, and begin the process of healing.
How do I deal with difficult emotions that arise during inner child work?
It’s normal to experience strong emotions during inner child work, including feelings like sadness, anger, and fear. Approach these emotions with gentleness and patience, and acknowledge them without judgment.
Use techniques like deep breathing and journaling, to help you deal with these feelings. Get support from a trusted friend or therapist to help, too. Healing is a gradual process, and it's okay to take breaks to ensure the work feels safe and comfortable for you.
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