How to talk to anyone: 12 simple tips for better conversations
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
If talking to new people stresses you out, you're not alone. Explore 12 tips to boost your social skills and actually enjoy conversations with just about anyone.
Talking to people can be weirdly stressful. Whether it’s a casual chat with your coworker in the elevator, making small talk at a party, or trying to sound like a functional adult in line at the coffee shop, social interaction sometimes feels like a high-stakes game you never got the rules for.
Some people seem to be born with the gift of effortless conversation, but everyone else is doing their best not to say something wildly awkward or blurt out a fact about octopuses when the silence gets too loud. Did you know that they have three hearts and blue blood? Wild.
Here’s the good news: You don’t need to be naturally outgoing or charming or have a pocketful of witty one-liners to be good at talking to people. You just need to be equipped with a toolkit you can lean on when your brain is telling you to pretend to scroll your phone instead of making small talk.
So, if the idea of starting conversations makes your palms sweat, or you’ve ever replayed a random interaction from three years ago at the bus stop when you’re trying to fall asleep at night, welcome. Let’s talk about how to talk to anyone and do so without losing your mind in the process.
What are the benefits of learning how to talk to anyone?
You might be wondering why you should even bother getting better at talking to people when you could just… not. You could keep avoiding eye contact at the grocery store. You could keep pretending to be very interested in your phone at social events. You could even keep saying that you’re busy during your lunch break at work to avoid the common area and the awkwardness that comes with it.
But, maybe you should reconsider. Learning how to talk to anyone is one of those sneaky life upgrades that pays off in ways you might not expect. It can make your life a little easier, a little richer, and a lot less lonely.
Connection is literal medicine: Talking to other people is genuinely good for your mental health, even if they sometimes annoy you or test your patience. Human connection can lower stress, boost mood, and help keep that existential spiral in check. And we’re not talking about deep, hours-long soul chats here. Even short, casual interactions can lift your spirits.
Conversations open doors: Whether you’re looking for a job, a new friend, a community, or just advice on where to get great tacos, talking to people is often the key. Most of life’s opportunities don’t show up via email, they show up through people. And you don’t have to be impressive to receive them — you just have to be open.
Small talk becomes less excruciating: Right now, chatting with your coworker in the company kitchen might be painful. But with a little practice, you’ll start to notice something wild: It gets easier. The more you talk to people, the more your nervous system calms down. You’ll still have awkward moments, but you’ll stop seeing them as validation for your “awkwardness” and as just a normal part of life instead.
You start liking people more: When you actually talk to people, you realize that most of them are kind of great. Or interesting, at least. Or, at the very least, not out to judge your every word and move. People don’t pay as much attention to you as you think. And the more grace you extend to others in conversation, the more you start extending it to yourself too.
How to practice talking to anyone: 12 tips to improve your social skills
You don’t need to overhaul your personality or rehearse 90-second TED Talks in the mirror to get better at talking to people. You just need to make a few small shifts that you can practice in the wild.
These aren’t magic tricks, and they won’t turn you into an extrovert overnight. But they will make conversations feel a little less like walking a tightrope in a windstorm.
1. Start small, like chatting with someone in the grocery store
If the thought of chatting someone up at a networking event makes you want to hide in a bathroom stall for eternity, don’t start there. Start where the stakes are low. Say hi to your barista and ask how their day is or make a casual comment to the person in line next to you.
These micro-interactions are prime practice grounds. You’re not trying to have the conversation of a lifetime while you wait for your latte. You’re building muscle memory. And once you try a few of these types of interactions every week, your social confidence starts to grow.
2. Be curious instead of clever
One of the biggest myths about being “good” at conversation is that you have to be entertaining. You don’t. You just need to be genuinely curious about the other person. Think of yourself as a detective, not a performer.
If someone mentions their job, don’t pivot to yours out of habit. Instead, ask them what they like about what they do. If they share a story, ask how it made them feel. Most people are craving to be heard. Curiosity is magnetic. Cleverness is optional.
💙 Show that you’re Listening with these helpful tips from Tamara Levitt.
3. Make peace with awkwardness
You know what’s common in almost every conversation ever? Weird pauses, people losing their train of thought, someone laughing at the wrong part of the story. These moments aren’t signs you’ve failed at conversing. They’re just the reality of human interaction.
Let go of the pressure to fill every silence. If you blank out, say so, and then move on. If you need more support, here are 10 ways to keep your calm when things go off the rails.
4. Use your shared environment as a jumping-off point
When your mind goes blank, don’t panic. Just take a moment to look around and notice the room you’re in, the food you’re eating, the music, or the event, as those are all potential springboards for conversation. These kinds of observations are simple, low-pressure, and create a sense of shared experience.
5. Keep a few backup questions for when your brain freezes
Keep some questions in your back pocket if you’re worried about how you’ll navigate a new conversation. They’re not lines you use to impress, but, instead, are gentle nudges that get the other person talking and give you space to listen and respond.
Here are a few to try out:
“What’s something you’ve been into lately — TV, podcast, hobby, anything?”
“What do you like to do on the weekend?”
“Have you always lived in this city? What brought you here?”
6. Match the other person’s vibe, not their personality
You don’t need to become a social chameleon, but some vibe-matching goes a long way. Pay attention to the person you’re talking to and their body language (here’s how to read it). If someone’s low-key and thoughtful, you might want to tone down your energy a bit. If they’re excitable and animated, you can dial it up if that feels comfortable to you.
Be true to yourself, but think about how you can create a sense of safety and a shared experience. We tend to feel more relaxed when someone mirrors our tempo. So, pay attention to things like volume, pace, and adjust just enough to meet them there.
7. Practice small, brave steps consistently
You don’t need to transform into the life of the party. You just need to take tiny social risks, over and over. Say hi first. Compliment someone’s shoes. Ask a follow-up instead of defaulting to saying “That’s cool.”
Over time, these moments stack up. You start to build trust in yourself. You start realizing that most people are kind, curious, and just as relieved as you are that someone made the first move. Social confidence doesn’t show up all at once — it’s built in small, sweaty-palmed steps.
8. Ditch the mental rehearsal
We’ve all been at this point in conversation where you’re nodding along in a conversation while secretly rehearsing what you’re going to say next. But these lines rarely land the way you want them to.
People can feel the shift when you stop being present. So, ditch the script. Respond to what’s actually being said, even if it’s just a simple “Huh, I never thought about it that way.” That kind of in-the-moment honesty is way more compelling than any pre-planned anecdote.
9. Reflect back what you hear
One of the most generous things you can do in conversation is show someone that you hear them. But that doesn’t mean repeating their words back like a parrot. Instead, listen, pause, and say something like, “That sounds like it was really important to you,” or “Wow, that must’ve been a lot.”
Validation goes a long way, especially in a world where everyone is kind of waiting for their turn to talk. You don’t need deep insights to make an impact on who you’re talking to. Just give them the gift of feeling seen.
💙 Practice Holding Space for the person you’re listening to in this meditation, as this is one of the best ways to let them know you’re eager to be there and in no way feeling obligated to listen.
10. Check your body language
While you don’t need to stand like Wonder Woman or do power poses in the bathroom (although power poses may help to boost mental health), you can be mindful of the basics like open posture, uncrossed arms, and facing the person you’re talking to. Make eye contact now and then and nod when they’re speaking. These little cues say, “I’m here. I’m with you.”
11. Let humor happen naturally
You don’t have to be hilarious for people to enjoy talking to you. But if something genuinely funny pops into your head, say it! If you mess up a sentence and laugh about it out of nervousness, even better.
Humor works best when it’s rooted in honesty or shared absurdity, and self-aware humor (like joking about how bad you are at small talk) can be a great diffuser, as long as you’re not constantly putting yourself down.
12. Know when and how to exit
Not every conversation is meant to last for hours. It’s okay to wrap it up with kindness. If things start to wind down or you’ve run your social battery low, try saying something like, “It was really nice talking with you. I’m going to grab a drink/check in with a friend/get some air.”
A graceful exit keeps things positive and leaves the door open for future connection. You don’t have to linger out of obligation. Your time and energy matter too.
How to talk to anyone FAQs
How can I improve my conversation skills?
Start by letting go of the pressure to be impressive. The best conversationalists aren’t the ones with the flashiest stories. They’re the ones who make others feel seen and heard. Practice really listening to people, and responding to what they’re actually saying, not what you were planning to say next.
It’s okay if you fumble or ramble sometimes. Focus on being present and engaged, not perfect. That shift alone will take you further than any script ever could.
What if I run out of things to say when I’m talking to someone?
Everyone runs out of things to say sometimes. When it happens, try not to panic and fill the silence for the sake of filling it. You can always loop back to something they mentioned earlier, ask a simple follow-up, or even name the moment that you lost your train of thought. Owning the pause can actually build connection and rapport (so can these 15 tips).
What are some phrases I can use to talk to anyone?
You don’t need a dozen clever lines. You just need a few solid, genuine prompts. Try saying things like:
“That sounds interesting. How’d you get into that?”
“What’s something that made you laugh recently?”
“Tell me more about that. I’m curious.”
How do I talk to someone I admire or find intimidating?
Remember that no matter how accomplished or cool someone seems, they’re still just a person who gets spinach stuck in their teeth and probably stress-buys weird stuff online at 2am like the rest of us.
Lead with sincerity, not performance. A simple, “I really admire your work. Thanks for taking the time to chat,” is more powerful than any rehearsed monologue. Admiration is best served raw and honest.
Are there specific phrases that help keep conversations going?
There’s no secret sentence that unlocks the perfect chat, but there are a few phrases that keep the energy flowing. You can try, “That’s fascinating. How did it feel when that happened?” or “What’s been the highlight of your week?”
The key is to stay curious and give people room to share. And if things slow down, that’s okay. Conversations aren’t performance art. They’re just connections in motion.
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