How to meditate properly (and why your practice feels off)

Aug 17

Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA

Feeling unsure about your mindfulness practice? Here's a handy meditation guide — common myths, what the science says, and 4 small adjustments to try.

You’re a few minutes into meditating, and your back is starting to ache from trying to sit perfectly straight. Your neighbors, meanwhile, are yelling about who-knows-what. And your mind keeps wandering off to your to-do list. None of this feels like the calming meditation you pictured.

If you’ve been meditating for a while but still get a nagging sense that you’re missing something, know that this doubt can show up no matter how long you've been practicing. There’s no “correct” way to meditate — the wandering mind, the distractions, and the restlessness are all part of the process.

Here’s a look at some persistent meditation myths, plus a few tweaks that can help you feel more grounded in your practice.

Why does your meditation practice feel “wrong”?

Second-guessing your practice usually stems from common misconceptions about what meditation is supposed to look like. Once you’re aware of these myths, that feeling tends to ease.

The empty-mind myth

Meditation doesn’t mean emptying your mind — thoughts are going to keep coming, because that's what brains do. The actual practice is noticing when your mind has drifted and gently coming back, no matter how many times that happens.

The stillness myth

Sitting still is the most well-known meditation pose, but you can settle into your practice just as effectively while walking, stretching, or engaging in other forms of mindful movement. The key is finding a position that lets you feel comfortable enough to stay focused.

The feeling-something myth

You might expect meditation to bring a wave of calm or clarity. While it can, that shift rarely shows up the moment your session ends — most of the time, the payoff comes later, within the flow of your everyday life. The benefits build with consistent practice.

The silence myth

Meditation doesn’t require total silence. When everyday sounds like a dog barking or rush hour traffic come up, you can simply notice them and let them pass. Staying steady through distractions is good practice for the messier moments of daily life too, whether that’s a tense meeting or a crowded train.

The duration myth

A longer practice doesn’t necessarily mean a better one. A few focused minutes can do more for you than a longer session spent half-distracted. Staying consistent with shorter sessions is more sustainable in the long run.

How to properly meditate: 4 adjustments to support your practice

If your practice feels off, there’s no need to overhaul your entire routine. Making small shifts in your approach can help you find what feels right. Think of these as flexible suggestions — start with one and go at your own pace.

1. Anchor your attention to something specific

A vague instruction like "clear your mind" doesn’t give your focus anywhere to land, so it’s easy for your mind to drift. Try picking an anchor instead:

The feeling of air moving through your nose
The weight of your hands in your lap
The steady background noise in the room

When you notice your attention has wandered, gently return to that same anchor.

💙 Explore Anchoring With the Breath with Jay Shetty on the Calm app.

2. Switch up your meditation style

Some days call for quiet stillness. Other days, you might be too wired to sit still, and pushing through can just make you dread your practice more.

Before you start your session, check in with yourself. If you’re feeling calm, a quiet breath meditation might suit you. If you’re buzzing with nervous energy, try walking or seated movement to let that energy go somewhere.

💙 Try Mindful Walking on Calm when you’re feeling restless.

3. Lean on a guide when you're unsure

If you keep questioning your technique, a guided meditation can walk you through the steps. This is a great way to ease back into practice after a break, or to ground you when your mind is scattered.

💙 Discover the Daily Trip Highlights — a collection of popular guided sessions on Calm for all kinds of moods and moments.

4. End your practice gradually

When you reach the end of your session, resist jumping straight to the next task. Instead, take one slow breath and notice how your mind and body feel compared to when you started. If your eyes are closed, open them gently.

The last few moments of your session shape how much that sense of calm carries into the rest of your day.

How to meditate properly FAQs

Is it okay if I can't stop thinking during meditation?

Yes, it's okay if you can't stop thinking during meditation. Thoughts will keep showing up no matter how long you've been practicing.

What matters is noticing when you've gotten pulled into a thought and gently coming back to an anchor, like your breath or the sounds around you. A busy mind just means you've got more chances to return to your anchor.

How do I know if my meditation practice is working?

You'll usually know your meditation practice is working by how you show up outside your sessions. Maybe you notice yourself pausing before reacting, recovering from stress a little quicker, or catching yourself in a spiral sooner than before.

Look for small shifts in your daily life over a few weeks, rather than judging by a single session.

Does it matter what position I meditate in?

It doesn't matter what position you meditate in, as long as you're comfortable enough to settle in and alert enough to stay present. Sitting, kneeling, lying down, standing, or walking can all work.

I've been meditating for months — why does it still feel hard?

Meditation can still feel hard after months of practice because it's an ongoing skill to continue building. Even experienced meditators have restless, frustrating sessions.

While meditation doesn’t necessarily get easier with time, you can get better at sitting with the difficulty instead of fighting it.

Can I meditate with my eyes open?

Yes, you can meditate with your eyes open. Plenty of people practice with a soft, lowered gaze a few feet ahead, especially if closing their eyes makes them sleepy or anxious.

Is there a meditation guide I can follow if I'm unsure about my technique?

A guided meditation is one of the most effective ways to steady your practice if you're second-guessing your technique. Calm offers guided sessions for anxiety, sleep, stress, and more, so you can pick whatever fits your needs.

How long should a meditation session be to see benefits?

Even a few minutes of meditation can be beneficial. Research suggests 10–20 minutes a day supports stress and focus, but staying consistent matters more than hitting an exact time.

A steady five minutes most days will do more for you over time than one long, occasional session.

Is it normal to sometimes feel worse after meditating?

Yes, it's normal to sometimes feel worse after meditating. When you slow down, feelings you've been avoiding can surface. That discomfort isn't a step backward — it's often a sign you're finally processing something you've been pushing away.

If meditation regularly brings up distress that feels overwhelming, try a gentler guided practice, reduce your frequency or duration, or talk with a mental health professional about what's coming up.

What if I get bored when I meditate?

Getting bored during meditation is completely normal, and it's worth getting curious about it instead of trying to make it go away. It often shows up right as your mind starts to quiet down.

If boredom keeps showing up, consider varying your practice with walking, seated stretching, or other movement meditations.

Calm your mind. Change your life.

Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life.

meditationmeditation for beginnersFeatured

Calm Editorial Team